just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
