Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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