how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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