Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
