Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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