I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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