This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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