Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
