I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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