Don't you send me to vm
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize