I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm jealous of your bromance
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
