did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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