he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
