I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
