ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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