Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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