You're my little dorito
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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