I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
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