You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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