That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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