the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
