So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I lost the right to judge tonight
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
