if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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