she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
