Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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