If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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