I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
