i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
