he thought i was a dude.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize