You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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