You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've blown a few things in my day
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
