Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize