I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
people are starting to question the shark bite story
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
