'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dick very happy bro
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
