I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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