I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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