The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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