The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
