yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize