I wish my penis had an off switch
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
