sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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