fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
