Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
last night I used snow as a chaser
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
