why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
