Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
