Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
