Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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