Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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