I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
