If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
