since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
