What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
