i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
