After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
