i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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