Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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