basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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