i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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