dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
