sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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