Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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