your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
