You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
