1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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