she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
