PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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