Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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