maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
