I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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