Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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