My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
